


Five times Marius tried to join the mechs, and one time he did

by AssyEr



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dumb and light, Gen, Kidnapping, Marius doesnt believe in immortality, Marius tries to talk to the mechs without getting killed, Shooting, Stabbing, no beta we die like men, you can imagine how it goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25255450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssyEr/pseuds/AssyEr
Summary: It had been a couple of centuries since he got his mechanism when Marius started to realise thateternityan unespecified long life span can get kind of lonely. Luckily for him, there’s a bunch of pirates that share his condition, and would make, on his humble opinion, very good friends.Now, if he could actually talk to them without getting killed, that would be quite helpfull.
Comments: 24
Kudos: 117





	Five times Marius tried to join the mechs, and one time he did

**Author's Note:**

> Getting this written before we get actual Marius Background

Marius von Raum had already done everything on the list he had titled “Things to Do When Getting Almost Immortal (because immortality is a theory with too many fallacies to be believable)”. He had touched lava, he had eaten lava. He had ended a war, and accidentally triggered another one; he had been banished of every single country on his planet, two times. He had even become a God-like figure in some small solar system he happened to stumble across.

And now, having nothing to occupy his mind with, started to feel kind of... lonely. 

It’s not like he was the neediest person. He used to have close friendships, yes, but those were few, and tended to barely last a few years. But he had always appreciated the company of another sentient being at his side, and its absence left a small hole on him.

He had tried getting himself a pet. One of those big fancy birds that could last a hundred years, or even more. So he entered the first pet shop he stumbled across, and after chatting with the owner and making sure of being informed of everything he needed to know, he looted the place and left with his new companion, “Feathered Marius".

However, it turns out that ~~immortality~~ a ridiculous long life span makes you more reckless with time, and you end up frequenting very dangerous situations, whether you like it or not. It wasn’t long until Feathered Marius was no more.

During his now again lonely roam, he found many things that claimed to be immortal. Half of those were affected by psychoactive substances, and the other half only confirmed his theory that there was no such thing as immortality.

That is, until he saw them.

He was sitting on a table on some bar, eating fries while thinking of what to do next, where on the universe to land, and ignoring the need of shooting the bad comedians that someone had let get into the scenario. He didn’t notice them, until the leader said the word.

“... of immortal space pirates, roaming the universe on the starship Aurora, having fun when possible, violence when necessary, and if we're very lucky, both at the same time".

He didn’t take it seriously, not at first. He just found it amusing, and kept listening to the act. But then the man described how they got their “immortality", and well... it did sound like what Marius had done to himself. 

It was probably the high content of cheese and ketchup he had consumed, but he found a strange hope inside himself. Maybe he wasn’t so alone, after all.

And so, when the show ended, he kept an eye on the band, who had gone for some drinks.  
Looking around, he heard some asshole make fun of the guy for having his nails painted, calling him a fag and laughing with his friends.

Perfect.

He approached him when his friends left to get more drinks. 

“Hello" Marius said, hand up and dangling his fingers.

“What-" he cut himself at seeing a gun being discretely pointed at him.

“Here's what you are going to do", he started explaining. “You’re going to take this knife, go to one of those guys- the ones that just performed, yes- and stab them in some lethal place. I recommend the throat, but the stomach will also do". 

It took a bit of him shacking his gun, getting a bullet on the chamber, before the dude took the knife and walked towards them. He was pale, and his whole body trembling, and Marius thought for a moment that yes, there’s no way that man is going to get near them without passing out, let alone get the stabbing done. But to his surprise, he got the job done.

Luck had been an important factor, however. He had approached the lead singer (he was not surprised by his choice) from behind, miraculously none of the mates seeing him. Or maybe they did see it, but said nothing for wanting to see what happened, if the mischief look of the shorter guitarist- Ashes- was anything to go by. 

For a moment, Marius feared that the idiot would go for the shoulder, or the back, or some boring place like that that would serve him for nothing. He was greatly surprised however when he suddenly stood straight, and with a fast movement cut the man’s throat, blood spilling everywhere.

It was what he had asked him, but still. It was a little more disturbing that what he had imagined.  
The place was filled with screams, and soon there were no one but the seven of them, and him, hiding behind a table that had been thrown. The killer had been the first to run, followed by the owner and the staff, and later the public.

The singer had fallen to the floor, a hand on his neck, making horrible choking noises. It was quite rude, Marius thought, while eating his remaining fries. 

The rest of the band just laughed at him, telling him what a drama queen he was. One of them, the one with the beautiful hair, _Tim_ , kicked his body once he had gone still.

A point in favour of “immortality”, but still nothing conclusive. 

The man made of metal, whose name he hadn’t caught, went to the other side of the counter and got a bag of peanuts he shared with the rest.

When the singer finally got back to life Marius decided that yes, it was pretty conclusive evidence of ~~immortality~~ accelerated healing. He got up between his friends, looking around for whoever had killed him, gun in hand. 

One of them made a comment that Marius didn’t quite catch, and the rest laughed. The man shot that person in the face, and pointed the gun to the rest, daring them to add anything.

It's as good of a moment as any to present himself, Marius thought, and got up from his hiding place.

He was shoot to the head.

He should have seen it coming.

When he got back, they were gone, and the place deserted. He also had a killing headache, and blood on his favourite coat, but he couldn’t help to smile. He wasn’t as alone as he had thought, not really. He would find them again, that would be his new objective.

There was a poster at his side, covered in blood. ‘The Mechanisms’, it advertised, with the faces of the band members below.

He put the paper on his pocket, and went to steal some clean clothes.

The second time he saw them, it was almost a hundred years later, and on a different galaxy. 

He tried to follow their path of blood and destruction, but whatever they travelled with, it was fast, and he never caught them in time.

It was more of a coincidence, then, when he saw the poster, similar to the one he still had, but different. This one pretended to be a wedding invitation, to ‘Cinder's and Rose's great day'.  
He practically ran towards the place.

Marius waited for a few hours until the show started, ordering every single kind of fries the place offered. This time he took note of the names and position on the ship, feeling that it would be important information for later.  
When it ended, the band got busy talking with other people. That was great, because it meant that they were in a friendlier mode, and that they would probably not shoot at him at sight. 

He relaxed, and went to the bar to get himself a beer.

By the time he turned around, they were gone.

He started to frantically search for them inside. He hadn’t been running after them for a century just to lose them on some crowd.

They weren’t inside, so he looked out.

The world they were on was advanced, in terms of technology. The problem was that this advancement had only been exploited in weapons, so you got as a result what was practically a constant war of a planet. To contrast all the missile attacks this particularly city the Mechanisms were in had made all of his buildings underground, with only doors and roads on the surface.

This was the only reason why Marius saw the band walking ahead of him, twenty squares to the north.

He started running.

He had done a quarter of the distance when the Mechanisms heard his panting. They turned around, amused with the idiot in so many colours doing what seemed for him a herculean effort.

“Hey, Tim, a bottle of whiskey that you don’t get him in the left eye" said Jonny.

That evening, Jonny lost a bet and Marius the chance to get to meet the crew.

Luckily for him, they had left information about their next show on the poster this time. However, it was in another solar system, and in less than a week.

He needed to find some sort of transport, and he needed to do it fast.

The third time he actually got to say something.

By the influence of some benevolent God Marius definitely didn’t believe in, he got to the concert, fifteen minutes before the end. He was exhausted, dehydrated and hungry, but it paid off when he saw the band of ~~immortals~~ very resilient individuals in the scenario. He took some abandoned seat, and tried to catch his breath.

During the week he had plenty of time to think about a plan of action. It seemed that he couldn’t just approach them, as it tended to end with him dying. Thus, he concluded, he needed some way of catching not their attention, but their curiosity, or something that would let him live long  
Enough to present himself.

He was divided between telling them about his ~~immortality~~ similar life state, and telling them he knew about theirs. Then again, it was not like they really tried to hide it, and the former option would make him look interesting. So, first option it was.

When the gig ended and they were hanging out with the rest of the people, he got up and walked towards them. 

Jonny, Ivy and Nastya were discussing something around a round of shots. They felt like the best option, as the other ones were talking with fans and it would be rude to interrupt those conversations.

He made sure not to stalk towards them, keeping his steps loud and clear. He also decided against touching them to catch their attention, because he had a feeling that would end either with stabbing or another bullet.

He was in range. He was next to them. He needed to say something, not stand there like an idiot while they ignored him. What was that thing he had planned?

“Hey, I'm immortal-" he was cut by a bullet on his brain.

He fell to the floor.

“I somehow doubt that", said Jonny, mockingly.

“You know, there’s actually a 7% chance of another immortal finding us,” Ivy commented between the screams of terror of the people exiting the place. She watched the blood form a pool around the man's head.

There was another shoot, this one to Jonny's knee.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Tim fumed from the other side of the room, gun still in hand. He had been until then chatting with a very respectable lady, who might or might not have had a bag full of explosive materials.

Jonny flipped him, and Tim shot his other leg.

He sat down on the floor, waiting for his mechanism to heal the wounds. Tim approached them.

“Doesn’t he look familiar to you?” he asked in general, kicking the dead body.

“If you fucked someone dressed like that I will never let you live it down" grinned Jonny from the floor, signalling the boot belts.

Unsurprisingly, he got shot to the head.

“Where's Brian, anyway?” asked Nastya, already thinking in going back to the ship and to their  
Next destination.

He appeared fleeing down the stair from the upper floor. “We need to leave, now" he said, marching towards the exit.

“What, Why?” asked Ivy. “I still have things to do here", she had been planning on going on a heist with Jonny and Tim later on the day.

“That's doesn’t matter", he said, pausing next to the door. “As soon as I put a feet on the ship it flies away, so come on". He got out of the bar.

The drumbot was many things, but flexible, once he made his mind, was not one of those. Nastya grabbed Jonny’s feet and with a sigh followed Brian. The rest marched behind.

By the fourth time he had gotten himself a helmet and a breastplate. 

He was angrily putting them on before going to the pub where it was announced they would play. It had been quite rude of Jonny to just shoot him like that, in the middle of a conversation. Now, he was determinate to, if not befriend the bunch, then shoot that man at least half of his magazine.

He got funny looks, all right. Yes, it was unusual for a man half dressed in armour to just sit into a pub, with an order of fries that he couldn’t eat because he would have to get his helmet off, and no, thank you. But he was damn sure that anyone with his death record would do the same. Or not have come. Whatever, they would all be dead or gone by the end of the show, if things went according to his plan.

The show started and ended with no complications. He let the crowd give their cheers, because even if he was starting to hate a little the lead singers, the others had done nothing to him (except for the time Tim had shot him in the eye, but he had been running towards them like a maniac, it was understandable). So he let them have their moment.

When the claps began to dilute, he got his machine gun out and began shooting.

Covered from the crew behind the bar, he quickly got the place emptied (with the help of some of them? Why were they shooting their audience?), and soon only the eight remained.

When it was finally quiet, he got up from behind the bar.

He got around thirteen shots, five to the head, seven to the chest, and one on his arms.

“Assholes!” he screamed at them, covering his wound and crouching behind a table.

“What?” screamed back Tim.

“ASS-HOLES!” he repeated himself, trying to be clearer.

“What do you want?” Ashes screamed at him. It was a big place, and his helmet didn’t really let the sound pass, so screaming seemed like the only way to get the message across.

That, and getting near, which was a big no for Marius.

“I'm the immortal guy!” 

“The what?” Ivy this time.

“IMMORTAL GUY!” This might not have been his best thought plan after all.

Ivy shouted him something back.

“What?” Marius asked.

“We can’t understand you with that helmet!” Ivy repeated, louder.

“Yes, why don’t you get that thing off and come say hello?” Jonny didn’t need to scream, for he still had his microphone.

He showed them his middle finger above his cover. It was quickly shot to pieces.

“Fuckers!” he shouted at them in pain.

“What?” Gunpowder Tim.

Oh this was getting ridiculous.

“I said!” he got his helmet off, standing up. “Fu-!"

He didn’t get to finish his sentence for obvious reasons. Once again, he found himself thrown to the floor in a pool of his own blood.

“Ashes!” reprimanded Ivy in annoyance.

“What? It wasn’t just me" they said, truthfully for once.

“Seriously guys I'm pretty sure we already seen this one" said Tim, approaching the corpse.

Nastya got to his side. “I think you’re right. Jonny, isn’t this the same man who approached us in that concert, and told us he was immortal?” Jonny approached to inspect the body himself.

“Who?” asked Brian.

“Nah. Totally different guy. Even worse sense of fashion.” He kicked him for good measurement.

“It _is_ him,” Ivy insisted. “We met him in the last concert, before Jonny killed him for whatever reason", she explained to Brian. “Turns out he was saying the truth, after all".

A silence fell, with everyone thinking of the implications of that.

“Whatever", said Jonny, kicking his mechanical arm, and hiding it from the rest of the crew. 

“Let’s find somewhere else to play"

With that, the band picked their instruments, and marched to the exit, leaving Marius alone once again.

“You know,” commented Brian to Ivy, “even if he’s immortal, he’s a very rude one, who just goes and start shooting someone else’s concert, anyway?”

Marius understood what had gone wrong, and was completely at peace with it. Really. He had got a bit nervous back then, and it had cost him his life, but he was a new man now. A calm, rational man.

He repeated that to himself while making the final knots on the rope.

Pure thinking no feeling.

“Mph...” mumbled Brian, starting to wake up.

He gave a final tug to the knot and went to sit in front of the metal man.

After all those trials, he had realised that approaching them together would never be a safe option, no matter how much armour he wore. So, for his fifth go, he rented an abandoned house, got two chairs, a table and a large rope, and went to kidnap a Mechanism.

Jonny d'Ville, Gunpowder Tim and Ashes O'Reilly were immediately out of question, for obvious reasons. Ivy seemed like the one who would be more interested, but she stroked him as someone who would be even more interested in getting _him_ tidied to a chair and getting her own answers. Nastya... he honestly didn’t know much about her, besides the fact that the Aurora was her girlfriend and that she scared him a little.

So Drumbot Brian it was!

All the better, he had heard rumours that he was physically incapable of doing immoral actions, even if it was in self-defence. Those seemed to corroborate, and so, when he went back to the bar they had been performing because he had apparently ‘forgotten' a drum, Marius took his chance and put a black bag on his head.

It took him a lot of effort to drag him to the chair (a man made of metal was way too heavy for him and his noodle arms), but he was finally there. And starting to wake up, soon Marius’ mission would be over.

His eyes were a bit out of focus, a disadvantage of dying and rebutting all of his systems, but when they worked again he frowned at the picture.

“You?” he asked, confused at the familiar grinning man.

“Me!” Marius could barely contain his excitement as he let out a short laugh. “I can’t believe this's finally happening. Three centuries I spent following you all!” he exclaimed.

“The Aurora is a fast ship", the pilot conceded. “What do you want? I would normally assume its immortality, but you seemed to have acquired that already" he said, looking at his mechanical arm. “If it's a cure, then I’m sorry, but we don’t have one.”

“I don’t want a cure” Marius stated. He refrained to tell him that immortality didn’t exist. “I just...”  
Now that he finally had his chance, that he was being listened to, he didn’t know what to say.

“Listen. You all can’t die. You seem to be having fun. I can’t die, and I’m getting bored. I just want to tag along"

Brian looked surprised. “What?” he said.

“Yes", Marius responded, elongating the S sound.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t see how killing our audience and kidnapping me would make us want to be your friend”, Brian said with total honesty.

Marius got to his feet.

“You think I haven’t tried? I did! That was my fourth attempt!” He paced around the chair, trying to get his nerves down. “The first time I tried approaching you all, Jonny killed me before I had said anything at all." He decided to let out how he had first made sure they were immortal incapable of dying in a traditional way.

“That... does sound like Jonny", the drumbot admitted.

“Then,” he continued, “I didn’t even get to fifteen meters near you all when your gunner shot me in the eye". He was more annoyed at that one.

“That was you?” said Brian, surprised. It had been a couple of hundred years ago, but he still remembered the ridiculous image the man had made, and the fight he later had to stop between Jonny and Tim about what was considered a “left eye".

“Oh, yes. You ruined my favourite shirt, you know?” he complained.

“I think that counts as a positive interaction, then".

“Fuck you", Marius said. “As I was saying. The next time I actually managed to say something, you know? Three words and I was limp on the floor again".

Marius sat down on the chair, having vented enough for now.

“I start to see why the drastic measures.” Brian said. “Just, one thing that I can’t understand. Why did you kidnapped only me? Why not go for the rest of the crew?” He seemed genuinely curious.

Marius blinked.

“Well, you’re the safest option. You can’t do any morally bad action, for what I heard" 

“That’s not entirely correct", he said, but offered no more explanation.

“It doesn’t really matter. I will get to meet the rest when they come to rescue you" he walked towards a table in the room that had some bags. “Do you want fries? They have cheese on top".

“No thank you,” he answered, surprised by the offer. “Do you have any soda?” he asked, because, why not.

Marius got two plastic cups, each with a straw. “I have Space Coke, and Space Fanta,” he showed him the options.

“Space Coke, please.”

He dragged the table next to the drumbot, leaving the cup there and making sure he could reach out by bending down.

He ate a few fries, dipping them in some spicy sauce he had on the side. They were quite good, but he preferred the ones in the Lemony Way.

“You know,” Brian started, but cut himself. “Sorry, can I try a fry?” he asked

“Sure", Marius said. “Do you want it with the sauce? It’s a little spicy".

“Yes, if it’s not much bother". He got his fry, which was delicious in his opinion, and continued. 

“You know, they are not coming" he said, taking a sip of his soda.

Marius was surprised by this. “What? Why not?” 

“Well, first they are all very drunk"

That was credible.

He continued. “And secondly, they know I can take care of myself. Can I have another one?”

Marius complied. “What are they going to do when they notice you aren’t coming back?”

“I don’t think it will take me too long.” He pointed at the fries. “These are good, where did you got them?”

“The same bar you were performing, they also sell takeout food.” He decided to ignore the first part.

“I'll have to go back to get some more. By the way, you have my drum, right? Did you stole it?” he said without annoyance at his voice.

“Yes, but don’t worry, I took care with it. It’s in the other room, no harm done". Marius shoved more fries into his mouth.

The drumbot smiles. “That’s kinder than most kidnappers, I appreciate it. Anyway, are we done here? Did you need the rest of the crew for something, apart from telling them your story"?

“You’re welcome,” Marius said, proud of having so good fucking manners. But the question made him feel a bit uneasy. “Um, no, just. I want to tell them what I already said to you. That’s basically it. Oh, and I was hoping to kill Jonny a couple of times, as a payback.”

Brian nodded. “That’s understandable.” He took another sip before adding, “I'm afraid I have to get going, however. We are on a tight schedule, you see".

He couldn’t ask what he meant by that, because Brian was already free and breaking his neck by the time he processed what he said.

Once again, Marius laid dead at the feet of a mechanism.

Brian did want to carry the corpse to the Aurora, but refrained himself. The man had kidnapped him, after all. 

He figured that if they had managed to run this many times into him, it would not be the last time they saw him. As an afterthought he wrote a planet and a date in the back of the fries recipe next to him. A thank you for the hospitality. He would also make sure to kill Jonny at least once.

Taking his drum and soda, he walked to the pub to order his own fries. It would be rude to steal his.

“What the hell?” said Nastya, looking at the piece of ice the Toy Soldier had dragged to the common room. “TS, what have I told you about getting Space Garbage on the Aurora?”

Jonny got up, probably to throw it outside again. Nastya wished that for once he got ridden of the garbage with it.

“It Is Not Garbage! Well, Maybe He Is, But He Is Also My Friend!” it said, and they realised that if you look at the thing closely, it did have a human shape...

“No way", said Tim. “Is that...?”

“Yes, I believe it's him", confirmed Brian.

They all stood in silence, admiring the man resolve. One thing was to find them planetside, but they were in the middle of space? They hadn’t even registered another ship in weeks by now. How the hell had he managed to find them? To _get_ here?

“Well, he is a stubborn little shit" Tim commented.

Jonny grabbed Marius by the knees, carrying him on his shoulder. “Out of the airlock, he goes,” he said.

“Wait! He Had A Letter On Him!” said TS, with a piece of paper on hand.

“I couldn’t care less, Toy Soldier!” he marched toward the door.

“Oh, come on, Jonny. The least you can do is admit he has guts", said Ashes, approaching the soldier.

“I don’t have to do shit!” was his answer.

However, when he tried to open the door, he found it closed. Turning around, he found that, indeed, Nastya was reading the letter with interest, along the rest of the crew.

Fucking lesbians, he thought. Dropping the body, he went to get himself a bottle.

“Mechanisms,  
Please don’t throw me to space.  
I can sing, play the violin, cajon, guitar, etc.  
I am also as “immortal” as you.  
Marius von Raum,” Ivy read aloud. “We could use another voice for the next album", she commented.

“Why did he put quotation marks on immortal?” wondered Ashes.

“Fucking no", said Jonny.

“I am not playing Arthur" Brian said.

“Tim can play Arthur!” he replied.

“I am already playing Gawain, and you called Lancelot" Tim reminded him.

“Well!” he stopped for a moment. “We still have Nastya!” 

Nastya shoot him.

“Do we all agree on keeping him, then?” Ashes asked after a moment.

They were answered by a general agreement. Nastya took Marius' body, before Jonny got up, and went to hide it in some vent to at least give the man some chance against the first mate.

When Marius returned to himself, he hit his head with the ceiling. It took him a moment to remember what had he done, and cursed at his luck. They probably had tossed him into the garbage disposal compartments, or perhaps some other ship had picked him up and locked him up for research. Again.

But then he saw that all of his things were on top of him, including his violin. He couldn’t imagine why a group of scientist would let him keep his things, or why the Mechanisms would throw a  
perfectly good violin.

There was a note, hanging from the ceiling.

“Rehearsal is at five. You better be able to sing.  
Don’t be late.  
Evade Jonny or shoot at sight.”

Marius smiled to himself. Sixth time was the charm.

Now he only had to figure out where the Rehearsal took place. Or where he was. Or what time it was.

He would be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I know HNOC happened after Marius joined, but sacrifices had to be made.
> 
> If you see any mistake feel free to let me know! The only real english speaker that said this made sense is Word doc., and I wouldnt even trust it to make me a toast.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments be cherished as the last bite of chocolate


End file.
